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Monday, September 25th 2017.
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AWF Warriors of Wrestling: Episode 15

by Scrooge McSuck

- Last week on the Warriors of Wrestling, we got to see the Samoan Swat Team, AMBASSADOR Steve Casey, Fidel Sierra, and randomly thrown together teams of Jeff Gaylord and the Warlord, and Jim Powers and Johnny Gunn squashing a bunch of Jobbers. Also, seeds were planted for a lot of nonsensical potential programs that never went anywhere. Oh, and we're promised a feature match between the teams of Koko B. Ware & Tony Atlas and Greg Valentine & Tommy Rich. Don't get too excited, you have to keep calm for the whole hour.

The Texas Hangmen vs. Jon Paul & Chad Miller:

Fat Hangman starts with Paul (Hey Jon Paul, how's George Ringo?). Lockup, and Paul counters a cheap shot with a bitch slap. Whip to the ropes, and a shoulder block does nothing. Criss-cross, and Paul connects with a dropkick. He gives the Skinny Hangman a dropkick, too, just for the heck of it. Miller comes in and quickly gets taken down with a tear-drop suplex. Skinny Hangman comes in with an axehandle, then connects with a headbutt. Miller grabs a headlock, and Paul comes off the ropes with a sunset flip for two. Skinny Hangman plows through with a shoulder block, then follows with a clothesline for a two count. Whip to the corner, Hangman misses a charge, and Miller tags in to take more beatings. Skinny Hangman with a German suplex, and Fat Hangman with an elbow drop. Double underhook suplex. Skinny Hangman with a snapmare and fist drop, followed by a back suplex as the round expires.

Round 2: Fat Hangman with a slam, followed by the Vader Bomb, but they're in the ropes, so this stinker must continue. Whip to the ropes, and Hangman with a clothesline. Big Hangman with another slam. Skinny with a clothesline, and a double suplex. They do the neck breaker/axehandle finisher to end this turd at 1:50 of Round 2. Wow, that went on about 4-minutes longer than it should've. Jon Paul looked OK for the 45-seconds he was in the ring, but after that, just tedious to sit through.

- Ken Resnick is standing by with the Z-Man, Tom Zenk, who is undefeated in the AWF... yes, winning two matches (if that) is enough to justify a "undefeated" label.

"Gentleman" Chris Adams vs. Trevor Blanchard:

Lockup, and we're informed there's going to be a big announcement from President Paul Alperstein. Lockup into the corner, Blanchard nails Adams with a cheap shot, then jumps on his back with a sleeper hold. Adams escapes by throwing Blanchard over. Whip to the ropes, and Adams connects with a lunging clothesline. Adams drops a leg across the midsection, then they somehow blow a powerbomb. Adams with a belly-to-belly suplex and knee drop. Whip to the ropes, and Adams takes Blanchard over with a back drop. Adams with the Super Kick, and it's already over at 2:05. Adams is someone who should've been given a few minutes for a match, but instead, he makes short work of his scrub opponent. Oh, don't forget, Adams has issues with AMBASSADOR Steve Casey. Can't express that one enough.

- Ken Resnick is with "Gentleman" Chris Adams. Ken: Things constantly change here. No shit. I swear to God, Adams has had a promo on every fucking show talking about the rounds system.

- Chris E. is standing by with President Paul Alperstein. He's here to announce that he's been traveling all over the world and because the fans have been asking for it, the AWF will hold a 12-team single elimination tournament. Offers have been sent to the "50 best teams in the World"... do I really have to come up with this joke? Next week, we'll know what teams have been selected. I'm going to guess all the teams we've seen on AWF television.

Tito Santana (AWF World Champion) vs. Ronnie Vegas:

So Tito comes back to the states from "defending the title around the world" to fight Ronnie Vegas? Okay, that would be like puting Hulk Hogan on an episode of Superstars of Wrestling to fight Ricki Ataki or someone along those lines of "who?". Lockup to start, and Vegas gives a surprisingly clean break. Karch and Taylor continue putting over the Santana/Orton program. Warriors Corner with Sgt. Slaughter about the Tag Tournament. Will Slaughter team with Jim Duggan? Wait, no he wants Santana on his team... well, why not team up with one of the bookers? Odds are you'll win. Back to the match: Santana with a side headlock. Criss-cross sequence ends with Santana connecting with a dropkick. Santana with a headlock takeover, and if you couldn't tell, I'm really not feeling these shows anymore. Santana goes back to the headlock, but Vegas escapes in the corner and pounds away. Santana avoids a charge to the corner and slaps on a sleeper hold, and that wins it at 2:54. Wow, Tito Santana won a match with the MAIN EVENT SLEEPER nearly a decade before Triple H did it. Boring and pointless fluff. Santana revives Vegas, because it's 1967 again.

Koko B. Ware & "Mr. USA" Tony Atlas vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine & "Luscious" Tommy Rich (w/ Rico Suave):

Please tell me this isn't going to get 20-minutes (the run-time left for the episode). Anyone else have a feeling these two teams will take part in the Tournament, starting in two weeks? Atlas shows off his dancing skills, moves not seen since the days of Saba Simba. Do you think Greg Valentine no-showed the memorial card for Frankie, after demanding more money for his appearance? We're constantly reminded of Atlas' programs with Nails... you think he'll do a run in? That reminds me of when Edge and Christian said they would do a run in on an episode of Raw in 2000. I had no idea what that was, so they were nice enough to show us. Anyway, Atlas and Valentine start. Remember, it was at MSG where Saba Simba took on Greg Valentine in a match that turned the Hammer babyface. Valentine quickly takes Atlas down with a drop toe hold. Atlas counters a whatever with a side headlock. Rich tags in, and hey look, Alperstein is sitting at ringside. I smell something BOGUS~! Sorry, it's been a while since I worked that into a recap. Whip to the ropes, and Atlas puts Rich down with a shoulder block. Rich grabs a headlock, but Atlas slips out, thanks to having a loobed up head. Rich spits at Koko, bringing him and his High Energy pants in the ring. Lockup, and Rich takes him down with an arm drag. They lockup, and the round ends, but not before we get Warriors Corner with the team of Gunn & Powers.

Round 2: Rich and Koko remain in the ring, as per the rules. Lockup, whip to the ropes, and Koko sends Rich to the floor following a diving forearm. Valentine takes a shot from Koko too, so the heels have a group meeting on the floor. Valentine tags in, and lays into Koko with elbows to the top of the head. Whip across the ring, Koko avoids a charge, and takes Valentine over with a hip toss. Atlas comes off the ropes with a headbutt, but can't finish a monkey flip, thanks to the interference of Rich. Valentine drops an elbow, and goes to work on the arm. Rich tags in to continue to unleash punishment on the viewing audience. Rich slaps on a chinlock, but it looks more like a choke hold with the wrist tape... well, I guess that's because it's exactly what he's doing. Chalk one up for me missing a spot. Valentine in with an elbow for a two count. Valentine with more elbows, and it's chinlock time. This lasts until the round comes to an end.

Round 3: Final Round! Hammer stomps Atlas to the floor for the breather, because he can? If we finish the round without a decision, then it's up to referee Bill Alfonso to make a decision himself. Rich continues choking Atlas with his wrist tape, in direct view of Alfonso. Tsk tsk... always favoring the heels. Koko gets the tag, but Fonzie doesn't see it. Valentine takes Atlas over with a snapmare and drops a leg for two. Rich with laces to the eyes. Whip to the corner, and he misses a slow charge. Koko gets the real hot tag and connects with dropkicks. The fans get happy as it's Double Noggin-Knocker time! Koko with a sunset flip, but Rich blocks. Koko counters the block pin attempt, and that gets three at 2:08 of Round 3. After the match, Rich and Valentine knock Koko and Atlas to the floor, but soon run away to the canned displeasure of the crowd. At least we didn't see Nails interfere. We do see Alperstein bitch out Tommy Rich for offering him favors for a World Title run... OK, I made that last one up. To hammer home the cheese, Koko brings in plants previously used to ambush Johnny Gunn to do the bird with him. Whores. Note to bookers: When using plants, DON'T USE THE SAME ONES FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE!

- Ken Resnick gets a word from Koko B. Ware and Tony Atlas about the Tournament, and to tell us that Atlas has paid the $10,000 fine slapped on him. Atlas' face clearly screams "you don't wanna know what I did to raise the 10 K'. And thus ends another episode.

Final Thoughts: We finally got a "feature match" after weeks of more squash matches, and it's something that I would barely call a watchable feature from Superstars or Challenge circa 1989. Squashes are getting boring to sit through, there's little in terms of really developing any kind of programs, and it's just filler upon filler leading to nothing. Next week we find out the teams for the Tag Team Tournament, and it's going to be random pair ups of the 20 or so people already working these shows, so I won't expect anyone outrageously surprising to be included.

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