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Monday, September 25th 2017.
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AWF Warriors of Wrestling: Episode 12

by Scrooge McSuck

- In case you missed it, last week on Warriors of Wrestling, we saw the debut of a bunch of new AWF talent, including such names as 2 Cold Scorpio, the Samoan Swat Team, and Jeff Gaylord. Also, AMBASSADOR Steve Casey promises to make an appearance this week. If that isn't enough, we were also promised a main event quality match in the form of Koko B. Ware and Tony Atlas taking on the Texas Hangmen. Excited? Nah, me neither.

- The usual introduction from the same group of non-wrestling personalities.

Tito Santana (AWF Champion) vs. The Bounty Hunter:

Hey, I thought Santana said he was going to be in Japan the next few weeks... what a liar! Jesse Ventura was right, you can't trust Chico Santana. Lockup into the corner, and Santana avoids a cheap shot. Santana works a hammerlock, forcing the Bounty Hunter's fat to jiggle wildly. Hunter takes Santana down with a wristlock, but is quickly kicked away. Irish whip, and Santana brings him over with a hip toss, then goes to work on the arm. Irish whip, and Bounty Hunter blows a back drop spot. Santana hits the ropes and nails the Flying Burrito, and it's over just like that at 2:38. That might've been Santana's quickest squash match on these shows, so far.

- Ken Resnick is standing by with Tito Santana, who claims to be touring the entire world, specifically in Japan and Europe. Sure, Tito, sure. Resnick brings up Bob Orton saying Santana is ducking him, but it's up to the AWF President.

- Suddenly, Michael P.S. Hayes entices us to keep watching. Okay?

The Fabulous Freebirds vs. Hubert Simpson & Don Diamond:

Well, this is a nice little surprise, even if Jimmy Garvin looks really old, and I was never a fan of them unless they beat the snot out of crappy teams like the Dynamic Duds. Oh great, I'm sure they're going to make fun of Simpson, and constantly call him Homer. Garvin taunts the crowd to start, and yes, it's just like old times. Garvin with a flury of knees to the midsection, followed by clubbing blows in the corner. Hayes tags in, and also puts the boots to Simpson. Hayes with chops and a fist drop, then Diamond tags in, looking to weigh about 115 pounds, soaking wet. Diamond grabs a headlock, but is quickly knocked down with a clothesline. Hayes with a leg drop, followed by an introduction (literally) to his elbow. Irish whip, and Hayes with an elbow. Garvin tags back in and sends Diamond out of the ring with a well placed knee to the face. Hayes runs over Diamond with a clothesline, as the round comes to an end. Warriors Corner with Chris Adams and 2 Cold Scorpio. That's an odd team. They're going to be here, next week!

Round 2: Garvin with a scoop slam on Diamond, then he does it again. Garvin with a third, just for the hell of it. Hayes tags in, and charges into the corner with a clothesline. Garvin tags in and nails a running forearm to the corner, then connects with the Stunner. That's enough for the three count at 1:21 of Round 2. The Freebirds gets jiggy with it after the match. I guess compared to an out of shape scrub and a twig in tights, the Freebirds looked like a million bucks.

- Ken Resnick is doing what he does best, standing by, with the Fabulous Freebirds. I don't know if it's me, but I think since the match ended, Jimmy Garvin colored the gray in his hair, and might've shaved his 5 o'clock shadow. Will the Freebirds be a contender in the Tag Team Division, or was this a one shot appearance? Time will tell.

Johnny Gunn vs. T. Rex:

Hey, Mr. Jail Bait is back, no doubt having spent last week in a cell. Suddenly, a bunch of girls jump the rail and mug him until security comes to drag Gunn back to... oh wait, nevermind, the plants are just being instructed to go back to their seats. Lockup into the corner, and we get a clean break. Whip to the corner, and Gunn takes down Rex down with a side suplex, after failing to execute a hip toss. Rex rolls out of the ring, and falls victim to a baseball slide for his cowardly effort. Gunn with a plancha, and it baffles me to think that when he signed with WWF, he was told to do basically nothing but play the crowd (as Salvatore Sincere). Rex gets some token offense, but gets crotched on the top rope. Gunn follows him up, and kills him with a reverse neck breaker for the three count at 2:53. I'm surprised more plants don't bum rush the ring to get a feel for what Gunn has to deliver.

- Chris E. is standing by with President Paul Alperstein. They're talking about Johnny Gunn, who is recieving more fan mail than anyone. I'm sure he is.

Ambassador Steve Casey vs. Jon Paul:

Hey Jon Paul, how's George Ringo? Casey looks like a really boring male stripper, or the rejected member of the American Males. You make the call. He has the same heel music as everyone else, of course. Lockup, and Casey slaps on a front facelock. Whip to the corner, and Casey casually ducks a clothesline. Criss-cross sequence ends with a Jon Paul clothesline. Paul misses a dropkick, and Casey follows up with a jumping elbow drop. Irish whip, and Casey with a back breaker. Casey with an English leg sweep, then tosses Paul from the ring. Casey tosses Paul back in the ring, and nails a running Samoan Drop for the three count at 2:45. Not too bad of a debut squash. Nice mullet, by the way.

- Ken Resnick is standing by with AMBASSADOR Steve Casey. Casey claims he was born with the title of Ambassador, and says that the European style of wrestling is better than anything America could do.

Koko B. Ware & Tony Atlas vs. The Texas Hangmen:

It's time for our Main Event of the broadcast! I don't think there really was a point to this, other than to establish another randomly paired up tag team. Koko starts with Psycho, and Psycho quickly pounds away. Irish whip, and Koko comes off the ropes with a cross body for a two count. Koko with an arm drag, and Psycho hides in the corner. Why is the crowd chanting "Whoomp there it is!"? That's Men on a Mission! Atlas tags in, and takes Psycho down with a gorilla press slam. Killer tags in and gets over-powered, as we catch a Warriors Corner moment from Bob Orton Jr. Killer slaps on a Full Nelson, but Atlas easily escapes. Koko tags back in and goes to work on the arm. Psycho tags in, and falls victim to the arm work, as well. Whip to the corner, and Koko misses a blind charge, as the round comes to an end. Round 2: Killer bum rushes Koko at the bell and drops an elbow for a two count. It's nice of referee Bill Alfonso to let the heels take liberties with Koko throughout the rest period. Psycho chokes Koko with the bull rope from the apron, and Killer connects with a delayed back suplex for a two count. Koko mounts a comeback, planting both Hangmen with a double DDT. Atlas gets the hot tag, and nails both men with a pair of clotheslines. Psycho tries to slam Atlas, but Koko dropkicks Atlas on top of him, and that's enough for the three count at 2:32 into Round 2. Suddenly, NAILS hits the ring, knocks Atlas out of the ring with a knee to the back, then tosses Koko over the top rope. Nails chokes away on Atlas, and manhandles the referees for trying to break it up. Atlas fights back, with both men choking each other. Scrubs Ronnie Vegas, Trevor Blanchard, and Bob Bradley try to help break it up, but Nails and Simba must hate each other a lot. He probably called Atlas the N-Word or something. Alperstein gets in the ring now, and after the commercial, the peace treaty is broken in about 30-seconds, and that ends the broadcast.

Final Thoughts: Like all of the episodes, the actual wrestling isn't too impressive, but the last few episodes have had a nice, steady production pace. Maybe it's seeing more fresh faces, but there's something there making these shows actually tolerable to sit through. I'm still not quite fond of pushing a Nails/Tony Atlas program, but they're at least following up on it, which is surprising considering how random the tapings probably were. Nothing is promised for next week, which could be a good thing, I guess. There's no disappointment to look forward to, like a Sgt. Slaughter or Tommy Rich match.

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